West Chester to become ALL BAR Town!

In a unique move today, West Chester Boro Council has declared that every business must begin to serve alcohol immediately.  Law offices, women’s consignment shops and jewelry stores must all begin to serve frozen margaritas and mojitos, if they want to stay in business.

One council person, who did not want to be identified, remarked, “It just seemed unfair that a person coming to town had to stumble ten or twelve feet on our charming but uneven brick sidewalks, without being offered a libation.”   Another, who also declined to be identified, said, ” Tensions between bar patrons and residents will just ease up if everyone has a few belts first, before talking issues or parking.”  The additional revenue generated will also keep the local millage low while eliminating the need for the controversial ‘pour tax’ that has ignited so many sober, yet angry debates. 

At present, only about 1/3 of the historically important buildings in town are devoted to alcohol service.  The new ordinance will bring that up to 100 percent.  You will be able to get single malt during your visit to the bank or a frosty pina colada in a ‘go cup’ while using the parking garage. 

The only issue which remains to be decided is whether students who attend any classes at the University or just those within the boro limits would be offered beer and ale.  “West Chester used to be a drinking town with a University Problem.” said one person on the street.  “Think how much more fun Band Practice will be at the Stadium, now!”